My 1st Attempt (and Failure) at Writing Satire

August 1, 2012

**I wrote this piece for school back in 2004 when I was in high school (age 16). It was a miserable failure as a satire piece, and my understand and use of the term cannibalism is completely wrong! But I love my imaginative ideas for the piece, so I’m sharing! 🙂 **

Hunter or Hunted?

There is a perpetual common belief that cannibalism is wrong, while hunting is okay. Whether it be with a rifle, shotgun, handgun, or something more distinctive, like a slingshot, army knife, mallet, or one’s own hands, hunting is still legal in some areas – when following certain conditions – but legal nonetheless. How can this be? Won’t inflicting harm on animals, intentionally, breed more violence among human beings? How can someone who kills other living beings for sport, or the thrill of it, not be considered a cannibal?

I propose a solution, more precisely a lesson that will allow the wrongdoer to see and feel the gravity of the situation in which he has been put upon himself. This method will be conducted in two stages. The first will be used for those who hunt with traditional weapons, such as the rifle or shotgun. The second and more dangerous of the two will be for individuals who like to take risks by hunting with mallets or their bare hands. Although the two solutions are very different, both will be very successful in reducing the number of hunters in society today.

The first method allows the hunters to get to know the atmospheres the animals live in, especially the ones they were caught trying to kill. Prisoners are taken to a special jail that is not a building with cells, but resembles a real forest with animals. The goal is to last two days in the wild, with only their jail suits and a bottle of water. No shelter is provided and neither are weapons to fight off predators. Survival instincts and being comfortable in nature is a must to pass the course. On the other hand, the second method demands prisoners to be placed in an arena without any weapons or armor, and encompasses the idea of gladiators. The animal the hunter was till recently trying to kill is then placed alongside the criminal, followed by another. If they are not fierce, such as deer or rabbits, they are to be substituted with wild animals, like bears or tigers. Without any protection, the goal is to survive the attacks of the “enemy” for five minutes. These two methods will make many, not only the criminals, think twice before going hunting again.

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